Ever since I was a little kid, I would always beg to my sister to let me take her camera and take pictures and record videos. I'm the kind of person who loves to pick up a camera, press the record button and film my world. I like being behind the camera instead of in front of it.
When I found out that there was a class that I could take at school involving video production, I was excited and quickly signed up. Second semester, I was in. :) Vis-com, here I come!
On the first day, I walked in after spending a couple of minutes trying to find the room. -______- Since I was new to this class (it's a year long class and I joined in the middle of the year...), I didn't know anyone. I nervously scanned the room for someone I know. Luckily, I found a girl that I known from middle school (we'll call her W). I sat down next to her. I wasn't close friends with her and I don't know if I should classify her as a "friend" either. I guess you could say the relationship between me and this girl was on the border line of friends and classmate. Anyway, I chit-chat with her a little, asked her about this class, small talk basically. My nervousness went down a little, I actually know somebody in this class. All of a sudden, a close friend of her (let's call her Q, alright?) came up and was all surprised that W was in this class. They started to talk to each other and I became invisible. When W asked Q where she was sitting, Q glanced at me. I knew she was hoping that I would move over so she and W could be together. "Oh, I'm going to sit over there", Q said as she pointed behind us. Class started and everything went alright.
I'm not going in detail about Tuesday and Wednesday. They were... ehh. For the past two days I would beg my friends to join that class so I wouldn't have to feel so lonely.
On Thursday, I decided to switch to the row behind where I originally sat. Hoping that maybe I would make a new friend. Yes, Q took my seat. I'm fine with it. Our teacher told us to get into groups, right then I wanted to switch out of the class. Everyone quickly paired up because they all knew somebody. W and Q paired themselves up with two other guys. I sat there, looking and feeling like a kindergarten on the first day of school (even though it's my fourth day). Two other guys sitting right next to me must have felt sorry for me because I was a loner or they just need an extra person in their group, so they invited me to join theirs. Our group filled out a worksheet and stuff. The usual school assignments. When it was about time to leave, W asked me, “Do you love-hate this class?" I stared at her, surprised she would ask me that. I replied in a quiet voice, "Kinda.". I was ashamed that she could tell. Q appeared out of nowhere and asked me, “Why?" as if it was the most casual thing to do. I mumbled some stuff and hoped that the bell would ring. What was I suppose to say? "Oh because I'm a frickin' loner in this class? Because I feel stupid? Because I feel like a loser?"
Friday came around. I told myself that if everything doesn't work out by Friday that I would switch out. My teacher said that today we were going to film something with our group. My group wasn't here. A wave of panic slapped me in the face. What was I suppose to do now? My group was gone and everyone had a group. I knew there were only two things I could do:
Plan A: ask a group if I could join there's.
Plan B: tell the teacher that my group is absent and I need a group. Which she would probably ask if anybody is willing to welcome me into a group, out loud, in front of the class. That would make me seem more of a loser. Once a group has been found for me, I would have to walk over to that group... the walk of shame.
I decided to go with plan A. I looked around the class, looking for which group seems friendly. Asian guy group, preppy girl group, Q and W's group... oh boy. My confidence suddenly went down. I took a deep breath and walked over to a group in the corner and asked if I could join. The rest of the class period went OK…
Right now, I’m starting to get mix feelings on whether I should switch out of that class or stay. I know some of you might think that might be the stupidest reason to switch out of a class but if you were in my position, you would understand. Photography and video production is something I love to do, probably something that not a lot of people know about me. I really want to stay in this class, but I just feel so out of place in class. Everyone knows everyone, everyone has their place… I just don’t fit in.
I know I probably wasted half an hour or more of your time by having you read this… but I just need someone to help me with this.
Hi! I'm Kim. You can call me, Kim, Kimmy, Kimberly. My friends have LOTS of way of calling me, like Kimchi or KimmyKim. So feel free to use any of those. I'm not sure what to say in this first post.... so I guess I'm suppose to give an intro about myself... here I go... Intro about myself: - have other accounts on Xanga, but don't use them. just this one. - newbie on Xanga - 13 year old, 8th grade - female - asian - shy (when you first meet me) - has a crazy life :) - love to chat and talk - love carmel - braces (yeah, i know, with it i can't eat carmel... oh well ) - love pop and country music - fan of fashion - stink at sports - love to write, doodle and daydream in class :) - fav colors: blue, green, white and brown - fav food: anything.. i guess - one thing i wanna try to do: ROCK CLIMBING!!
So.... I guess I'm done....all in all, I'm just a regular girl blogging about my world.... yeah, I can rhyme anytime! :)